Completely eschewing this type of behaviour though would make for a dull life indeed and diminish your popularity too. So what is a functional sexual being to do?
Years of meticulous research have enabled me to develop a fail-safe detection tip to reveal whether your one-night stand is a knife-wielding psycho who should be avoided immediately (unless that is the type of thing that turns you on of course).
»What is this amazing discovery which just may save my life?« you ask. Well, it’s simple really; just take a quick glance through their CD collection. Now I know exactly what you’re thinking here: in this day and age most of my one-night stands would not actually own any physical records or CDs, what with them being oh-so-modern and all.
My advice to you, if you are unlucky enough to enter a room, house, flat or dungeon where the inhabitant doesn’t own any music playing device bar his or her laptop, iPod or, even worse, their mobile phone, is to get the hell out of that situation ASAP before you, dear reader, become the next victim scratched off this crazed psychopath’s list.
Desperate to know the exact music I’ve identified that indicates the person you are canoodling with is in fact with a sick pervert or frenzied killer, who will undoubtedly strangle you before having sex with your Converse? Thankfully for you (and the rest of humanity), I have prepared a little list of the artists and tunes that ought to set your alarm bells ringing should you stumble across them in a significant other’s music collection:
